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Kirsten, like that little Dunst upstart. (It was my name first!) Richard, Richard singular, as in I married Marc Richard, not many Richards…that would make for a different website. THE KIRSTEN QUIZ: 1) Things that lick Kirsten’s feet: a) Agile-tongued members of my man harem. b) one overly generous yellow lab c) the lapping waters of my palatial, blue, kiddie pool Yeah, B. She’s named Makena. Alias: Lickasaurus. My husband says she’s showing submission. I pointed out she submits to furniture. She just went into the blue room to prove her unworthiness to the aquarium stand. 2) All of Kirsten’s manuscript titles have: a) way too much thought put into them b) no thought at all but those induced by margaritas and then they’re BRILLIANT c) the hero’s name Answer C. YES, I WILL brings you Will Shaw. TRY, TRY AGAIN is christened after Trenton Randolph Yates III (yeah, you’d go by Try, too, wouldn’t you?). And my WIP, READY FOR SIN? introduces St. John “Sin” Redde. Hotties one and all. If A. tripped you up, just remember, no writer will ever spend a year of her life birthing a book and think that anyone could put too much thought into naming her baby. 3) If Kirsten had the power to ____________ she would be truly happy: a) defrost a frozen cheesecake with a single glare b) grow a beard like Chuck Norris c) telekinetically summon Potato Oles at will, extra seasoning C. Always C, grasshopper. Always salt before sweet. I like cheese in all forms but cake. And beards are a no-no. My heroes will never wear beards unless they’ve just been released from a POW camp and then the first thing they’ll do is shave. 4) What does Kirsten require that’s three apples high? a) A thermos of cosmopolitans b) a smurf to tuck her in at night c) a big… plastic… bottle of Curel lotion (get your mind out of the gutter, dirtball) C. Welcome to beautiful arid Colorado. Who stacks apples, you ask? Drink answer A and answer B would be along shortly. Dr. Peter Venkman: “He’s right, no human would stack books like this.” 5) Kirsten needs “more cowbell” from: a) Naveen Andrews b) Colin Firth c) Viggo Mortenson (but only when he’s dirty) d) Tom Brady e) my husband …caught me writing this e) Djimon Hounsou f) Will Ferrell Answer: F) Purists will say SNL, and I always root for the funny man, but really, couldn’t we use a little more cowbell from all the pretty men that decorate this fair land? ed. Kirsten reserves the right to change list as often as it makes her happy. Hourly, even to the minute, and to never EVER be questioned. 6) Kirsten’s family is best described as: a) uh… b) well… c) yeah…I honestly can’t do this. If I documented the vagaries of the clan, they would rise up like the tides of the Perfect Storm as far back as Methuselah, tear me limb from limb, and then sue the remaining DNA. But I would be a legend… 7) Kirsten chose to go into writing because: a) she loves going to work in fluffy bunny slippers b) a hypnotist hiccupped in therapy and accidentally programmed her to enjoy battering her head against the white wall of truth also known as The Blank Page. c) wait…you choose to write? C. I’m not in favor of rodents fluffy or otherwise, and my dog ate my slippers long ago. As for B, well, I’m not hip enough for hypnotherapy. 8) Kirsten would love to do research on: a) fractal logarithms. b) nothing. If I liked research, I’d write historicals. c) the anti-gravitational alien physics that allowed Ginger Rodgers to dance backwards in heels, forever solidifying the woman’s role to do twice the work so the man could believe he was leading. B. I burned out on research in college, but before you go through my books with your 3D gaffe glasses, know this: I do things I don’t like. I floss; I’m nice to mean people, even while driving; I clean the house, too…biannually. 9) From this list you can surmise that Kirsten writes: a) With nothing but her pinky fingers b) Dark gothic novels while wearing dark gothic eyeliner c) Heroines with attitude that enslave, er, fall in love with hot, tough, hot, smart, hot men. For a taste, head over to the books page and see what you think. 10) Kirsten spends hours contemplating: a) the backspace key b) the shrinking world c) the calorie content on a pint of Haagen Daaz chocolate peanut butter ice cream All of the above. What? This quiz is a buffet -- all of the above is always an option. They say the world is shrinking. Frankly this surprises me. My butt has no problem staying the same size. Yesterday it pulled a Doritos truck into its gravitational field. And before you nail me on how question 10 defies question 3, remember: it’s chocolate peanut butter ice cream. Salty and sweet. Now doesn’t that just solve every problem from the backspace key to world hunger? See you at the freezer aisle. If you think you did well on the quiz, contact me, and I’ll put you in the drawing for the giant ball of dog hair I have collecting behind my fridge. |
